It is true -- 1 drop of rain brings this city to a standstill! Well -- 1 drop of rain - 1 drop of anthrax - 1 single snowflake - or if the sun is sitting at the hypotenuse of Federal Triangle adjacent Pennsylvania Avenue in da morning before 8am - all brings this city to a standstill but that’s beside the point. In this case – I’m actually going to stand up for the city. The past two weeks were horrible.
When I hear thunder – I expect rain – NOT SNOW! I mean – what do you call that “Thundersnow”? They say the wind reached 50-70mph. That’s not a blizzard – that’s a flurricane! LMAO – now that was funny (farce)! But if you know me -- than you know I wasn't going take this laying down... Being the Alpha Male that I am (nosy) I decide that was going to go see what all the fuss was about. (this version of the story sounds so much better than the way it actually went down) Just as I got outside Jack Frost decides to become a comedian. (Black Ice -- need I say more) Yeah that hurt but if I could just make it to the warmth of my vehichle. I made it! Although hurt'n -- I needed to drive around the block to quench my curiosity. Okay - im on the road "bumpy" turn on some heat -- defroster rear & front *CRAAAAACKED* (WTF) YELP -- YOU GUESS'D IT -- MY ENTIRE WINDSHIELD!
Before the storm started some friends and I decided that we were going to have a snow party (you know who you are) well that never happened and I was disappointed. But you can’t keep a good man down – and Cabin Fever is just not my thing! So in the middle of the night I called my drank’n buddy and ask’d him to come join me (a true friend). Once he arrived the party started and we drove to pick up two others. Old Man Winter would not get the best of me. I’m buzzed – happy – talk’n loud – try’n to out talk or louder than err body – defying Mother Nature and the “Old Man” – ssshhhhhhhut up...!!! I know the POWER did not just go out!
But it's ALL JOOD!!! I had a new windshield installed...
In most cases, "Snowpocalypse" is really the panicked reaction of the citizens and NOT the actual snow that makes the situation worthy of the title. Well not this time… It was outta control! Now I am driving to St. Elsewhere with 5 friends in stow. In case you're wondering exactly where is St. Elsewhere located -- it is that place when your power just went out and you don't know where in the hell your gonna go and you're running & running to get to "somewhere" and Jack Frost all up in your ear "Remember Me..." but all you want to do is get into your car, a cab, or cubby hole but you can't get there quick enough -- you can't run fast enough cause it hurts -- you're screaming inside but the only thing coming out is oooohhh-whoooo (deep voice) and you can't hear or see where you're going and forgot from where you came and why!
THIS IS THE ROAD TO "St. Elsewhere!!! Have you been there...???
THIS IS THE ROAD TO "St. Elsewhere!!! Have you been there...???
My friends from “snow states” are laughing at us and saying, “Oh those poor Washingtonians can’t handle a little snow.” I agree - - DC isn't ready for much of nothing - but you gotta admit that 40inches at once is a lot of damn snow no matter where you from! And that was only part 1.
People HATE Hummers and LOVE "little cars" but my truck was Snowtorious B.I.G during this weather. Now don't get me wrong -- I'm all for saving the environment and fuel efficiency but none of those people I pulled out to safty seemed to mind that I wasn't in a "Smart Car!"
Driving around was crazy – I felt like I was in a scene from Narnia. Some people abandoned their cars and ran for the hills. We saw cars & trucks coming towards us facing the wrong way. People were stuck in ditches, stuck in snowbanks or stuck on a Jersey barrier / wall. Okay -- how exactly did the snow plow get stuck on the Jersey wall??? HOW?
Snowpocalypse!
Snowmageddon!
Snowtorious B.I.G
Snowtorious B.I.G
Whatever you prefer to call it -- I WAS HERE!!!
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